Hour 1: Zaslow Cries At John Cena's Final Match

This is the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. Welcome in.

On Insights to Mediocrity, I toss the classic to Tony: Jordan or LeBron?

Jordan, because the shoes changed culture worldwide, and that impact beats anything else; what drives me is always the next challenge, like deciding mid-game to shoot lefty just to see if I can.

Before Zaslow’s Cena trip, we played Coach O saying Brian Kelly never fit LSU; I hear him taking a victory lap for connection, while ignoring he had Joe Burrow and Jamar Chase.

It can be both; he had elite players and he felt LSU in a way Kelly never did.

That 2019 roster was ridiculous, with stars all over the field.

And O had to recruit and win Joe Burrow over, so the relationships mattered too.

It was the best offense I’ve seen, though Miami’s great teams belong in that debate.

The 2001 Canes had a jaw-dropping number of first-rounders; that’s a different animal.

I’m taking the ‘01 Canes in that fantasy matchup.

Now Marcus Freeman: Notre Dame’s snub oddly gives him perfect leverage, because he can claim he was wronged and never risk proving otherwise this month; for an agent, that’s a dream.

Would he be as hot if he’d made the playoff and lost early?

No; this is cleaner, and now he can chase any job without fresh blemishes.

He’s also free to talk now instead of late January, which boosts his market.

He was going to be coveted either way.

Sure, but this makes him even more in demand.

Teams are already circling, even division-wide interest; he could pick a spot like the Giants, or return to Notre Dame with top-tier money if he truly wants to stay.

If he loves Notre Dame, do we play this dance every year?

His stock may never be higher; you jump now, and you can always go back to college if it flops.

Or you use the NFL flirtations to squeeze a richer Notre Dame deal.

And his agent now gets months of clean shine because there are no more games to dent the narrative.

The agent’s the happiest person alive after that snub.

Reporters are already pairing him with pros; all he has to do is point to where he wants to land.

Fans forgive jumping to the NFL more than bolting to a rival college.

If he’d played and got blown out, we’re not having the same conversation, which is why this moment is the peak of clean demand.

Zas, you flew to see Cena’s last match; what did you expect and what did you get?

It felt like an event from the second we got there, the arena sang his theme, and when he tapped, I was stunned even though I knew it was coming; and no, I wasn’t crying.

A lot of fans online thought the finish was a flat choke and tap.

I wanted the storybook win, but legends usually go out putting someone over.

Which sets up the comeback months later; that’s how this script usually works.

He’s built on honesty and respect; doing a year-long farewell and then un-retiring would feel like a con, so I don’t see him returning.

We even have you on tape in full fan mode daring someone to grab your hat.

The boos were thick after the bell, and the crowd was hot.

They did right for business by supercharging Gunther as the villain, but the tour felt clunky and the show was a slog at times.

Ending was correct for the future, but the path there felt TKO-style and messy; Gunther’s heat is real, people followed him to the bus.

Greg’s barely hiding his disdain for adult pro-wrestling joy.

The folks chasing the heel are maniacs; it’s theater, and I’m betting the hero returns anyway.

Fans don’t care about logic; they want the payoff they imagined.

Cena’s persona makes a swerve back harder than the typical legend’s encore.

Even if he did come back, fans would erupt; different question is how he fits the current WWE.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz.

Two AFC teams not getting enough shine are Houston and the Chargers because of defense, and Tony Jefferson even got tossed late for an obscene gesture.

Might’ve been the under-the-chin flick, which is the classic Italian insult.

I love picturing a ref deciding if that’s ejectable while the guy strolls off doing it.

Is a half-bird even a bird, or do you need full extension with kickstands?

Bud Adams once fired off two bare-bones birds in a blue leisure suit; that’s first-ballot obscene gesture lore.

There’s also the European ‘wanker’ move, but I’m not demoing it.

Zas, did you vote in Awful Announcing’s poll that ranked the Dolphins radio crew last?

I won’t confirm anything, but if you asked me today, I’d give that broadcast an F.

Those anonymous quotes sure sounded like stuff you’ve said before about play-by-play mistakes and constant confusion.

It’s broadcaster-on-broadcaster crime, even if you did it behind a curtain.

I was in my car for that Minka two-pointer and couldn’t tell what happened from the call.

And the Miracle in Miami anniversary just reminded everyone how often that broadcast leaves you guessing.