Change Your Life This Year: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Hey, it’s your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. If you know what you want but can’t seem to make it happen, today’s for you, because we’ve got a world‑class behavioral scientist here to reveal seven hidden barriers that keep you stuck and the exact, evidence‑backed tools to remove them.

Everyone has a goal, and most of us try to reach it by guessing. I’m here to give you proven strategies so you can hit your goals with higher odds and help the people you care about do the same.

Let’s make this personal. Pick one change you want—money, health, career, relationships—and hold it in mind. What’s the biggest lie we’ve been told about change?

That it’s all willpower. You’re not broken; you’ve lacked the right strategy. Make hard things easy, enjoyable, and social, and your odds of follow‑through climb.

I’m realizing change is a skill, not a character test.

Exactly. You can learn it and then use it to lift others—family, teams, students, anyone you mentor.

Across ages, cultures, and contexts, we see the same human barriers, which means the same core tools help.

Name the seven barriers and how you found them.

We synthesized decades of research across a large network to diagnose what actually blocks change: getting started, impulsivity, procrastination, forgetfulness, laziness or defaulting to the easy path, low confidence, and conformity to the norms around us.

Let’s tackle the first one: just getting started.

Use the fresh start effect. Certain moments make beginnings feel possible and motivate action.

What is the fresh start effect?

We experience time in chapters, not a straight line. New Year’s, birthdays, Mondays, a new job, or a move create a clean break from the past, shift identity, and spark big‑picture thinking, which fuels a new beginning.

Any special advice for New Year’s?

Fresh starts get you to the starting line, not the finish. Pair that surge with a plan and the right tools or it fizzles.

How do I create one right now?

You can’t fake meaning. Pick real milestones that matter to you and peg your plan to them, or point out upcoming transitions for someone you’re trying to help.

Next barrier: impulsivity.

Make the action instantly rewarding. Choose the fun version that still moves you forward—dance class over the punishing machine—so you enjoy it and keep coming back.

So if it’s fun and easy, my present‑focused brain stays with it.

Right, and you can stack temptations. I only let myself enjoy gripping audiobooks while I work out, which pulled me to the gym and made time fly. Studies show this kind of temptation bundling boosts persistence, like saving your favorite podcast for chores.

What about procrastination?

Use sticks, not just carrots. Deadlines, accountability, and commitment devices raise the cost of delay; even self‑imposed fines or public check‑ins help, and adding friction to temptations—like keeping junk food out of the house—reduces derailments. In a tough domain like smoking, simply having access to a deposit contract cut smoking by about 30 percent.

Forgetfulness kills me. How do I stop dropping the ball?

Do not rely on memory. Use checklists and cue‑based plans that specify when, where, and how you’ll act, and set calendar reminders. Planning exposes obstacles early and creates real accountability, and pairing up raises follow‑through—coordinated gym visits increased attendance by about 35 percent.

Let’s talk about laziness and habits.

Make the easy thing the right thing with smart defaults and less friction to do what you want. Then build habit loops—consistent cue, behavior, and reward—so actions become automatic; much of what looks like self‑control is really well‑built habits.

Now confidence. What if I do not believe I can change?

Adopt a growth mindset and harness expectancy. Support that boosts your beliefs can shift outcomes, as seen when hotel room attendants reframed their work as exercise and saw health benefits. Also, giving advice to someone just behind you builds confidence, creates accountability, and makes your own guidance stick; even an eight‑minute advice exercise nudged grades up.

I love that advice‑giving pulls you out of a fixed story and proves you have tools to share.

Yes, it is a fast, practical way to unlock motivation and belief.

Last one: conformity.

We mirror our group’s norms and ceilings. Surround yourself with people pursuing what you want, copy strategies that work in real lives, and make goals social; if you cannot build those ties yet, learn vicariously through their stories and methods.

If we feel the wind at our backs, what should we do first?

Set a concrete, measurable goal, decide when and where you’ll do it, and design it to be fun. Layer reminders, social support, and either a mentor or someone you can mentor to strengthen belief and follow‑through.

Bottom line?

If it feels miserable, you’ll quit. Make it enjoyable and social, give yourself grace for misses, use emergency reserves, and begin again after setbacks—they are part of the process.

Professor Milkman, thank you. I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m proud of you for investing in yourself today; I love you, I believe in you, and I know you can create a better life when you use these science‑backed tools.

So glad to be here. This was a joy—and what a perfect fresh start.

This show is educational and for entertainment only and not a substitute for professional advice. I’ll see you in the next episode.