The Consequential Countdown: Lions, Lamar, and the 49ers' Path Home

Round two of the college football playoff is on deck, but first we’ve got to get you right for NFL week seventeen. Happy holidays, belated Merry Christmas, and welcome to Football America—Travis Kelce’s twilight, Bo Nix rising, Caleb Williams and Drake May coming, Lamar’s status, DK Metcalf’s suspension, and a whole lot to settle.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays. I’m ready to hang out and talk ball.

Christmas is the Super Bowl of society, so there’s always a day-after dip, and I’m fine with people saying Merry Christmas or happy holidays. I worked, I roamed, I saw Breckin Meyer, Paul Stanley, and—best of the bunch—John C. Reilly; I told him he’s the best and kept it moving.

We don’t honor Christmas at the Zazlow mansion—we do Hanukkah—but I pulled the Jewish tax shift on ESPN Radio. John C. Reilly is definitely the top sighting.

The ‘Die Hard is or isn’t a Christmas movie’ debate is tired—of course it is. My real holiday gripe is Rudolph, where Santa acts like a lousy boss and sets the tone for the reindeer to ostracize the kid; it always bugged me.

Hans Gruber remains the number one Christmas villain for me. He conned McClane and left bodies behind.

Takagi let Ellis run wild and, sidebar, SoFi looks like Nakatomi’s under-construction model—call it the Takagi Dome.

Now to the week: Lamar’s doubtful and the Ravens’ drama won’t stop, and DK Metcalf got two games after a fan altercation. Where do you land on the suspension and the fan-versus-player piece?

There’s no reason for DK to wander up to a fan on an NFL sideline—flag security and let them handle it. Two games feels fortunate given how avoidable this was.

Refs missing it likely pushed the league to two games; if he’d been tossed live, Pittsburgh might’ve lost, so they dodged one. And if you dump Pickens for behavior and then season-critical games vanish because of DK, that’s a bad look.

It would be wild to move on from Pickens and then get burned by the replacement while Pickens stays mostly clean in Dallas. Also, that fan should be banned—grown folks bickering with players on camera is loser behavior.

Players should point security to problem fans and move on. And remember to like and subscribe to Football America on all socials and YouTube.

Security and a nearby officer watched the whole thing and did nothing. That can’t happen when a player is involved.

You can’t grab a civilian midgame, period. Bigger picture, if the Steelers lose to the Browns and then the Ravens, Tomlin’s status gets loud; quick one for you—does Mahomes win another Lombardi?

I lean no. Brady’s seven is a one-of-one path and you can’t assume repeat titles.

The math says not everyone gets a ring; a decade from now, Hall-of-Fame debates may hinge on titles for Lamar, Allen, Burrow, Herbert, and the like.

Recent greats mostly got at least one, but this wave won’t; at least two of those three probably retire without one.

Replace the Pro Bowl with a Loser Bowl during the bye before the Super Bowl: the two worst teams play for the top pick, with a Creed–Nickelback halftime on a scorched field. Winner gets number one.

Eagles at Bills, Buffalo by one and a half. I think Philly finds answers and wins a high-scoring game.

I don’t trust the Eagles right now, and the Bills have real seeding urgency. I’ll lay the small number with Buffalo.

Steelers at Browns with a rock-bottom total; Saturday in Green Bay will dictate a lot, and we could get Mason Rudolph facing Myles Garrett’s sack chase. Tough to bet now.

Even with the low total, I’ll trust Pittsburgh to get it done and cover on the road.

Jaguars at Colts: I’m in on Old Man Rivers as a live home dog. Indy can cover and maybe win outright.

There’s poetic payback after that Wentz collapse versus Jacksonville; Jags have cruised, but Colts money line is tempting.

Seahawks at Panthers is huge; I’ll lay seven with Seattle even if Carolina looks like a trendy home dog.

Quick aside: we have big cats, but no big dogs as team names—why?

Fans won’t rally behind scary dog breeds the way they do lions and tigers. Nobody’s cheering for the Dobermans or the German Shepherds.

Niners hosting the Bears feels like the eighties again; I’m on San Francisco, and Caleb’s OT deep shot was a cool tone-setter.

I think the Niners grab the one seed and line up a home-field run; Chicago’s good, just not good enough there, and Caleb’s late-game poise matters.

Ravens at Packers: even with Snoop Huntley, Baltimore can grind and cover four and a half in a low-scorer.

If they ride the bell cow this time, Baltimore can go into Lambeau and steal one to crank up pressure on Pittsburgh.

Texans at Chargers: give me Houston and the points; the Chargers’ line is banged up and this shapes up as a defensive game.

The Texans might be the AFC’s form team; their rush should feast on LA’s tackles and get it done on the road.

Quick media note—Tom Brady’s getting better in the booth, right?

Sure. Do it every week and you improve; he’ll probably end up good.

Tradition check: breakfast for dinner forever or dinner for breakfast?

Breakfast for dinner, always. French toast or a bagel at night beats steak in the morning.

Great stuff from Zazlow—catch Zazlow Show 2.0, LeBatard, and ESPN. Geno’s buzzed, Soup’s off to make soup, and you should subscribe on YouTube and wherever you listen; we’ll be back after week seventeen and before round two of the playoff. Happy holidays, and Merry Christmas for yesterday—my fellow football Americans, it’s been a thin slice of heaven.