How to Wake Up Excited About Your Goals - Chris Bailey - #1077

Given all the work you’ve done, why do some goals feel easy while others are a grind—and yes, I’m sipping a not‑sponsored raspberry lemonade that absolutely slaps.

That question sparked my new book: we all carry a graveyard of abandoned goals, so I dug into research and spoke with monks and found most success or failure orbits two forces—aversion that fuels procrastination and the deeper pull of our values.

Values aren’t fluff; decades of research show a handful of core motivations like self‑direction, achievement, security, pleasure, and benevolence shape what truly drives us, and when goals line up with those values through what I call the intention stack—from daily actions to plans to priorities to values—effort rises and friction drops; think training for a long, active life instead of chasing abs for beach season.

Why do intentions slip so easily over time?

Because goals behave like predictions we get attached to, which harden into expectations and then disappointment; hold them loosely, edit and even drop them as reality unfolds, which is why about ninety two percent of New Year’s resolutions fizzle.

We also live on default intentions—habits shaped by social contagion, pleasure‑pain, and biology—until we pause and use self‑reflection; those little gaps before and after activities are gold for mind‑wandering to the future, setting cleaner intentions, and not just grabbing your phone.

Okay, what’s your beef with smart goals?

The data is shaky: making goals merely realistic can cap potential, the criteria overlap, and the framework came from a management article, not rigorous science; better to set challenging, values‑rooted targets you’re willing to revise.

Procrastination trips people up—what’s the big picture and the quick wins?

Action equals desire minus aversion, and aversion spikes when tasks feel boring, frustrating, unpleasant, far away, unstructured, or meaningless; it’s emotional, not logical.

Easiest fixes are to add structure or delegate, reframe the work to match your top values, and sweeten the process with small rewards or a resistance list that gamifies doing the hard thing.

And when it still just sucks—and distractions win?

Cut off escape hatches with website blockers and give yourself no choice, then use aversion journaling to name exactly what feels ugly and plan simple counters so the task loses its sting.

Some goals are just cool to say out loud—cosplay of ambition, right?

Totally; if you value conformity, outside expectations can feel meaningful, but if you prize self‑direction, shoulds backfire and guilt lingers, which is why honest self‑reflection matters.

How do we make goals feel deeper and turn this into a usable system?

Engineer positive social contagion—join communities so connection carries the habit—and treat intentionality like a skill: shrink tasks until you can start, rewrite goals in the language of your top two values, and use the rule of three each day and week so your actions roll up cleanly to plans, goals, and values.

What powerful idea are people overlooking?

Our defaults sketch the shape of our values, so notice and even admire what you do on autopilot, then layer deliberate intentions on top to steer where you actually want to go.

Chris Bailey, thank you, man—I appreciate you and your work.

Thanks for having me—always a joy to jam on this.

By the way, I made a free list of one hundred life‑changing books with notes and links at chriswillx.com slash books—go grab it.